7 Ways to be More Assertive in Your Relationship
Human relationships are the backbone of a society. We are bound together with each other through relationships like father, mother, husband, wife, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, etc. These relationships that we share provide us protection and happiness.
But there are times when you may feel depressed if you are taken for granted in any relationship. And you find it impossible to break the ice and speak your heart out. You cannot expect everyone to understand you, to listen to you and to treat you as another individual. At times like these, you need to be more assertive in your approach to saving yourself from pain which may tear you apart.
Here are seven handy and useful ways to be more assertive in your relationships.
1. Stress on the Word ‘I’
To project yourself strong, you must stress on ‘I’ while conveying your thoughts, like, “I want to eat pizza” instead of “lets order pizza”. The first statement leaves no space for any assumption whereas the second statement could mean ‘we can order something else as well’, hence giving the other person the opportunity to reject your idea.
2. Win Over Your Fears
“No one can help you until you help yourself”, you must have heard this statement an ample number of times. The same goes for your fear also. You yourself can fight your fear that forces you to be quiet when you should actually speak. By speaking up, you will do well for yourself and for others too. These will also result in a better understanding of your relationship.
3. Communicate to Take your Partner in Confidence
Take your partner on board with proper communication. For example, if you want your spouse to accompany you to the dentist while your spouse has other plans then make sure you communicate effectively as for why you would want him/her to accompany you. Cite reasons or tell him straight forward.
4. Do not Compromise Always
Do not allow yourself to be treated like a Guinea pig. Why only you should accommodate always? Eventually, you may get weary of it and walk out of the relationship thereby doing more harm to self and others. Do not always compromise, its ok to say no.
5. Sound Friendly, not Bossy
To be assertive doesn’t mean to be aggressive. Do not confuse assertive for aggressive. Being assertive means to speak your mind in an understanding, polite and direct manner while abusing, shouting, demeaning others are signs of being aggressive. Assertiveness strengthens the relationship. For example, if you want your friends not to disturb you while you finish your task, then politely ask him/ her that you have a deadline to meet and you will appreciate if you are not disturbed instead of just announcing irritably “don’t disturb me”.
6. Set Boundaries making Others Aware of It
Be clear with yourself about your boundary. This way you can politely stop others from trespassing on your territory. For example, if you do not want uncle X to suggest which college you should apply for then tell him you would consult him if you need his help.
7. Believe in Yourself
You can only sound assertive if you believe in what you say or do. If you believe that your idea can save unnecessary delay in generating the reports then you will be able to put it forward more assertively to your boss.
Being assertive is a positive quality for an individual. An assertive person eliminates air of confusion and hence becomes more acceptable in any relationship. So, go ahead and practice to be assertive.