Why Do We Blame Ourselves for Not Saving
No one else is responsible for what happens to you but yourself, so you can either complain about all the things that you don’t like in your life or you can set about changing them. Not surprisingly this directly relates to the state of your own finances. There are times which come in life when one realizes the mistake he / she has done by not having enough savings or no savings at all to deal with an unexpected happening; an illness, or another emergency for which we need funds very badly. We then start blaming ourselves. We feel unworthy of love and sometimes punish ourselves internally. We may be blaming ourselves for things we are not responsible for. For example, someone who is a victim of verbal abuse might say, “Of course he yells at me. It’s because I am lazy.” The hidden message or belief in that statement is, “If I work harder, everything will be alright.” This allows us to maintain control or a belief that we can fix things.
Most of us have made some mistakes. We may have broken the laws of our country, the rules in our family or the commandments of our religion. The decision to right a wrong helps us forgive ourselves. In each of these cases the same basic steps of repentance can work universally.
Facing your bad decision and looking at it clearly allows you to examine the steps that led you to taking a wrong decision.
Allow yourself to feel remorse. Learn from your mistakes, but avoid shaming and blaming yourself for them. Right the wrong done by you.
Forgive Yourself and Do your Best not to Repeat the Mistake
Rid yourself of the burdens. Remember, we all make mistakes, but we are not mistakes. Be gentle with yourself as you heal. When you are ready to forgive yourself you can ask for forgiveness. Make amends, but if that isn’t possible do something symbolic to make amends.
The Blame Game
Why we start blaming ourselves is because savings is a self inducted discipline and if not followed diligently it can result in a very difficult situation. On reaching such a situation the feeling of remorse or repentance takes over and gives rise to that stress and depression which can actually have a very negative impact on one’s daily life and result in multiple and increased problems.
People often say, forgive and forget. You do not need to forget in order to forgive. Forgetting in this case can be defined as letting go and allowing the process of repentance to take the sting out of the memory. But keep in mind, sometimes it is important to remember the mistakes we make, so that we don’t repeat them. This allows us to maintain control or a belief that we can fix things.
How to Control Your Finances
You cannot take control of your finances until you make the commitment to do so; the more you ignore the situation, the worse it will get. Instead you should take a hard look at your finances — your budget, your debts, corresponding income, and expenses, and then try to understand where your money is going and where you can budget better.
You need to be aware of the obstacles that are standing in your way. These may be literal obstacles, such as credit card debts, or they may be obstacles you’ve identified in your behavior. An example of a behavioral obstacle would be spending $10 every day on junk food on your way home from work, because you’re starving. Instead, you could be packing an inexpensive granola bar to keep you going until dinner.
Conclusion - For many people, it’s hard to resist, but this is exactly the skill you have to learn to keep your goals as your first priority. While we are constantly told we can have it all, in reality, having it all is really about prioritizing what is most important to YOU to have and then focusing on that.