Unconditional Love and Non-Relationship Relationships
We all fall in love and out of love again. Life is a journey with ups and downs, marriages and divorces, beginnings and endings. We award a person the title of king or queen for a moment. After some time, our king or queen suddenly takes up another role. Broken by too much expectations, the crown suddenly does not fit anymore. It all seemed so promising, once upon a time, just like a fairy tale.
What is happening to our love relationships? Why is it so hard to balance two hearts?
Why Do So Much Relationships Fall Apart?
The secret is this: we put too much pressure on our beloved ones. We ask them to meet our criteria. We were educated with a particular belief system and unconsciously we translate this into our own relationships. This is not the magic formula to create and sustain successful and nurturing relationships.
How Does Nature Takes Care Of Everything?
Trees are offered a large space to grow slowly, step by step, into their most beautiful version. They receive energy from sunlight and give oxygen in return. Without oxygen, life could not exist. Imagine that we cage a tree and create enough restrictions so that natural growth of the tree is endangered. We can be sure of one thing: it will not become the powerful tree that it was meant to be. It will certainly lose all its force.
The will to be a strong and healthy contributor to the universe will fade away. One day a smal shadow will be all that is left. The same is valid for love. Natural love needs to flourish abundantly. We need oxygen to live and breathe. We must provide others also with oxygen and give them enough space to move as they wish. When we let go of our expectations and stop putting pressure on others, they will feel well and like to be around us.
Maybe we must increase our efforts to look at love from this natural perspective. When we truly love ourselves, then we accept ourselves as we are. We feel confident and at ease with our strengths and weaknesses. We forgive ourselves for our flaws and we can embrace our assets. We know that we do not need to be perfect to be worthy of someone’s love or attention.
We are who we are and that feels good. Once we unlearn that we need to be perfect, we can create space for others to give them oxygen to breathe. As we are all connected, we will all benefit from this inner peace. Live and let live. Love and let love. All what we have mastered for ourselves, becomes a present in our relationships with others. When others give us the space to be ourselves, we feel at home. We can take off our masks. Authenticity empowers all who are touched by it.
Let us all tap into the ocean of deepest love. Let us accept ourselves and others as we are and feel, deep inside. Let us not give rules to others so that we can punish them once they break these rules. Like waves we must embrace a natural rhythm. Waves come and go and differ in terms of type, amplitude, wavelength and frequency. All of them are wonderful as they are. The ocean has understood that by letting go, the waves have the opportunity to demonstrate their most beautiful art of moving.
They are free and untamed. True love is also nurtured and can develop more when we keep in mind that every kind of control takes away the oxygen in our relationships. Love cannot be controlled, it only wants to grow beyond the sky. Love happens naturally when it is not forced by inner and outer pressure.
Profound Questions about Relationships
So when we think that we are ready to propose and consider marrying the love of our life, we should ask ourselves some profound questions first. Do we love our partner for who we want him or her to be or do we really love him or her as he or she is? Do we really commit to care so much about him or her that he or she feels as a king or a queen for a lifetime and more? Do we really engage in challenging our beloved one so that he or she feels truly loved and can grow into the best version of him- or herself?
Will we continue to love our king or queen even when he or she makes other choices than we would do? Will we create space for them to make all their dreams come true as we hope for ourselves? When we can answer all those questions positively, love becomes a mirror of the deepest and wildest beauty of the ocean. When we enter a non-relationship relationship, one that is based on unconditional love, we receive wings to soar in heaven. Untamed love creates miracles for all of us.