How To Pick Up The Pieces And Move on After A Loss

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Helen Keller

The holidays are notorious for stirring up unresolved feelings of loss and sadness. Shattered dreams, unfulfilled expectations, and the loss of life can certainly cause us to lose heart and hope. If you’ve ever been there, if your heart has ever been shattered and your recollection of the pain is still fresh, you know what I’m talking about.

The panic, depression, and confusion we experience at times about the direction of our lives can prove to be paralyzing. We get confused and are unable to get a hold of ourselves and move ahead. But remember that suffering can either propel us toward hope, or lead us to despair. The only road to healing is to stop asking the wrong questions, face our fears, and use our inner strength as a springboard to regain control over our lives.

Here are some healing procedures to handle loss:

1. Stop Asking Why

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Take Control of Your Life

Why questions do not allow you to move ahead. You may never get the answers, and even if you do, they may not help. Instead of asking “why”, channelise your energy towards accepting your circumstances and processing your pain. We can’t control adversity, but we can control our response to it.

2. Watch What You Tell Yourself

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Avoid Negative Thoughts

Negative self talk keeps us trapped in a web of misery. We don’t even realize the pain we are inflicting on ourselves. Learn to refute the negative internal monologues that play in your head with positive life giving counter-statements. Start believing that you can!

3. Enlarge the Pie of Your Life

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Recreate Your Life

When we are struggling with grief and sadness our world can become very narrow and we feel isolated. The first step to healing is to intentionally enlarge “the pie of our life.” Take out a piece of paper and make a circle. Now draw slices to represent each area of your life. If there aren’t many pieces, you need to start filling them in. Get out. Get involved. Set goals and dream again. The results are powerful.

4. ReInvest Your Heart in Something Meaningful

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Change Negative Into Positive

John Walsh created the television show America’s Most Wanted to assist law enforcement agencies to find criminals after his son was abducted. This led to thousands of criminals being put behind bars. John is a great example of someone who took a tragic loss and turned it into something redemptive. Cindy Lightner did the same thing with Mother’s of Drunk Drivers.

If you are facing some personal loss or adversity, you need time to heal. But when the time is right, ask yourself what possibilities lie ahead? How can you re invest in life and turn something bad into something with redemptive value? Remember, the story isn’t finished yet

ByRita Schulte

Rita A. Schulte is a licensed professional counselor in the Northern Virginia/DC area. She is the host of Heartline Radio and a 1-minute feature “Consider This.” Her shows air on Alive In Christ Radio at aliveinchristradio.com.

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