8 Ways to Remain Happy and Uplifted After a Break Up
“I tried so hard, and got so far
But in the end it doesn’t even matter.
I had to fall, to lose it all
But in the end it doesn’t even matter.”- Linkin Park
The dreams you saw, the plans you made, the memories you had- all gone and there is a constant empty vacuum inside you that is screaming out loud and you are speechless. So you have gone through a break-up. You might have been the dumper or the dumpee, the gut-wrenching pain is a part of it nonetheless. It may have been the logical thing to do but “the heart wants what it wants”.
Love is an emotional investment and you feel like all those years, emotions, adjustments, compromises and hurt has gone down the drain. So go ahead and mourn your loss. Mourning is the first step towards healing. But you have to remember that this is not the end- of you or your life or the love you carry inside you. Remember “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” So here are 8 ways to get you back on track.
1. Positive Attitude
Focus on the things in life that you are thankful for, every morning. This will give you energy to get through the day that would have been otherwise wasted wallowing in self pity. Write them down if need be. Writing sometimes re-enforce what you already know. Get out of bed, change your clothes, dress up, go out and hang out with your loved ones who understand what you are going through and who would help you get back on your feet. Positive people, positive atmosphere, positive thoughts are the key to overall well-being.
2. Re-invent Yourself
Reintroduce yourself to the person you were in the pre-love affair time. People change over time in a relationship. You need to adjust and compromise on your dreams and interests for the sake of the relationship. Remind yourself of those forgotten aspirations and start working on bringing those goals to fruition. If you are busy working, you don’t get the time to going over the same old excruciating memories and thoughts of what went wrong and what you could have done to prevent it. Plus, you spend your time building something that means something to you and will help you in the long run.
3. Make-Over Time!
Looking good always makes you feel good. Your partner may have liked you to look a certain way but now that that is not the limiting factor anymore, go bonkers. You are the only one you answer to. Become the person you wanted to be before the affair. Get the pixie cut you wanted for so long and colour it blonde if your heart pleases it. Grow that beard; she ain’t there to stop you. Get that tattoo your heart yarned for since college which your matured ex prevented from happening. It is your time now. Your life. Your rules. Go enjoy yourself.
4. Let It Go!
Let go of your old memories and all the hurt. Try new stuff, visit new places, experiment with food, meet new people- basically create new memories. Do not visit places and do stuff that reminds you of your ex. Whereas the new memories you create would not be able to replace the old ones, they will help you to not wallow in the old and cry yourself to death. New memories will help you to relax and be happy.
5. Update Your Playlist
Listening to your old favourite songs is sure-shot way to bring back to flood of memories that you are working so hard to keep at bay. Honing in on the “Let it go” concept, remove old songs and add new, inspiring, up-beat songs to your playlist. Besides motivating you, these would fill you with energy to move on and have fun in your life.
DO NOT keep revisiting your ex’s social media pages. Block them. DO NOT drive around her/ his house or the places they hang out just for the sake of catching a glimpse. DO NOT keep calling your ex and not saying anything just to hear their voice and certainly not to beg them to reconsider the relationship. This is just a way to torture yourself and you will end up feeling lonely and sad all over again.. Think about what would happen if they find out and the legal consequences that comes after. Stop embarrassing yourself, get a grip. You are far better than that.
7. Fake It Till You Make It!
Pretend that you are happy and always keep a smile on your face. If you can make others believe that you are happy, eventually you will start believing it yourself and you will find that the hurt is gone without you realising it.
8. Have A Moving-On Ceremony
Treat yourself to good food, good music, a hike, or a bubble bath. . Gather your friends and have a party, have fun and dance till you drop. Have a family get together or go play laser tag/ paint ball. Or as Phoebe (from F.R.I.E.N.D.S) suggests, have a cleansing ceremony- burn your ex’s photo and stuff. Who knows, you might meet some firemen like her
Above all, remember that the only one who can help you is you. And if there is no happy ending yet, the picture ain’t over.
“I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar”- Katy Perry