How to be Less Self Conscious in Social Situations

Selfishness and Self-consciousness have a deep nexus. The more self-conscious you grow, the more selfish you become. People who are very self-conscious in social situations tend to have insecurities about themselves they have not resolved, a major one being their looks. Yes, looks aren’t everything, but they DO count.

You shouldn’t use the “looks aren’t everything” cop out to prevent you from at least doing all you can to make yourself feel good in your own skin

1. Stop Thinking That You are being Paid Attention To

stop over thinking

Avoid being in the spotlight at all times which will always help you fight self-consciousness at all times. Is my hair ok? Do my clothes look all right? Do I have bad breath? Gee, I hope they don’t think I’m a loser. Are they staring at my pimples? Am I going to sound stupid if I say what’s on my mind? These sort of questions arise in one's mind when there is too much publicity. Be reserved. It will certainly help you. 

Nobody really cares about you because they’re too busy worrying about themselves. Yes, your parents were right when they told you that. You just didn’t believe them. Chances are the person you’re interacting with is as nervous or more nervous than you are.

2. Be Confident

be confident always

When feeling self-conscious, one becomes aware of even the smallest of one's own actions. Such awareness can impair one's ability to perform complex actions. Adolescence is believed to be a time of heightened self-consciousness. A person with a chronic tendency toward self-consciousness may be shy or introverted. Try being confident at all times. Most skills, self-confidence and self-acceptance are things can be learned and cultivated with time and practice.

The phrase "fake it 'til you make it" is often applied to achieving self-confidence – act as if you believe you are a person deserving of compassion, respect, and to be loved with all of your flaws – and eventually you will believe it. Make an effort to gain a deeper understanding of your self-worth. Replace your worries about what other people think about you with a preoccupation over your own goals, achievements, and progress.

3. Believe in Pep Talks

pep talk

Whenever you start to feel bad about yourself, recite your own 30 seconds pep talk. It’s kind of like an elevator speech in that you try to bring out the best points about yourself in the least possible time. Different levels of self-consciousness affect behavior, as it is common for people to act differently when they "lose themselves in a crowd".

Being in a crowd, being in a dark room, or wearing a disguise creates anonymity and temporarily decreases self-consciousness. This can lead to uninhibited, sometimes destructive behavior. Therefore, you need to "spice it up a little".

4. Stop Talking to Yourself

take a breathe

Just direct your attention on your way and take deep breaths. Do several inhale-and-exhales to relax. Tell yourself that it's okay, don't get nervous just because there are so many people around you, but don't speak it out. In this way you are not that self-conscious and are able to concentrate on your way without feeling being isolated from the world. 

5. Aim High!

aim high

Have a dream, have a worthy goal you are striving to achieve and then you’ll realize all the stuff you’re worried about is pretty trivial and meaningless to begin with. You’ve got better, more important things to do than to worry if the hair on the back of your head is sticking up. Aim for the sun and you will definitely reach the moon!

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