Your Key to Self­ Confidence

Do you treat yourself well? Do you think positive thoughts about yourself? How do you talk to yourself about yourself?

In your daily thought life, do you think kind, helpful things about yourself? Do you encourage yourself when you're downhearted? Or do you think cruel, debilitating thoughts about yourself? Maybe you aren't aware of how you talk to yourself.

If you think negative thoughts and make negative statements about yourself unconsciously, all the time, your self confidence will be low. Consider this scenario. It's 7:00 a.m.. You spill hot coffee on the kitchen floor. What goes through your mind? Do you thnk, “I'm a dumb cluck. I'm always spilling things. Everything I do goes wrong.” Or, are you thinking, “I'd better wipe up this spill before I go to work.” (Decode Your Mind)

In the first response, you have made your negative self­image the most important thing about the incident. In the second response, you have focused on the spill. The first response is not appropriate. It is damaging to your spirit, and the focus is off. The second response is appropriate. It's about coffee. It's not about you and your whole life story.

If you find you are habitually condeming yourself, then know you can create change for the better. Here are three suggestions for observing and improving your relationship with yourself.

To raise self­ confidence:

1. Notice what you say to yourself.

2. Become your own best friend and cheerleader.

3. Believe in yourself by activating your faith.

1. Notice What you Say to Yourself 

self talk

Talking Yourself into Success

Become conscious of what you are telling yourself about YOU and your abilities. Catch yourself, at odd moments during your day, and notice what you're thinking about.

Many thoughts float through our minds. Many are planted by other people. However, we do not have to accept and dwell upon negative, hurtful thoughts. As adults, we can choose the thoughts that dominate our minds. We can choose to love ourselves, as well as others. In doing so, we are creating our own attitudes and allowing self­ confidence to take hold in our minds and grow.

If you fail an exam, don't say to yourself, “I will never be successful. I am so stupid. Why do I always do poorly?” Instead, say, “I will re­take this exam after I study more. To pass, I need to learn the information I overlooked. I can do that.” Again, the first response is not about the situation. The second response­­the appropriate, positive, and healthful response­­is about studying harder for the test.

You have the power of choice. You can choose which thoughts you entertain. Choose thoughts that will help you cope with life, not thoughts that hamper your strength, hindering belief in yourself.

Once you become aware of your power to choose, you can change your life.

2. Become Your Own best Friend and Cheerleader

cheer

Self Improvement

You can stop being your own worst enemy and, instead, become your own best friend. How? By talking yourself up in your head Think about it. What does a best friend do? A best friend is supportive, takes your side, cheers you up. helps you find solutions. A cheerleader? A cheerleader encourages you, believing in your ability to reach your goals. Do these things for yourself!

Treat yourself the way you would treat a beloved child, with kindness and compassion. Forgive yourself. Resolve to do better. Encourage yourself. Never berate yourself. Rejoice in successes. Allow yourself to enjoy your own life.

3. Learn to Believe in Yourself by Activating your Faith

activate

To Believe Is To Succeed

Now go higher. Think thoughts of faith Learn to live on the mountaintop. Discover gratitude. Realize the fact that you are alive—well, it's miraculous, no matter how it came about. Your life is a gift. Believe in yourself because you are greater than you know. (Boost Your Self Believe)

Commit to this way of life, and you'll see changes, not only in you, but also in your relationships with other people. As you learn to love yourself, and treat yourself in a loving way, you'll realize it makes you feel good to treat others the same way. Ultimately, love is an action verb. Practive it, and your self­ confidence will soar.

ByTina Murray

Tina Murray, Ph. D., is the author of two published novels, “A Chance to Say Yes” and ”A Wild Dream of Love.” Both books, published by ArcheBooks, are available in paperback and as e­books on Kindle at Amazon.com. “A Big Fan of Yours,” her forthcoming novel, will be available in 2016. Currently, Tina is the vice presendent of the newly formed nonprofit organization, The Carnegie Writers, Inc., which seeks to promote writing and provide community service to writers at all levels.

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