5 Ways to Use Personal Values in Raising Your Children
Does it seem to you sometimes that kids get away even with murder these days? No respect. Their parents let them do whatever they like. If you are reading this article then happily you aren't one of THOSE types of parents and we are happy to hear that.
Personal values are passed down from generation to generation in an effort to ensure that the beliefs and behaviors of a particular family continue to flourish through each passing generation. So what is the best way to nurture these behaviors? Here are five common examples and methods that you can employ when using personal values in raising your children.
1. Apologize When You make Mistakes
Your children look up to you. It has even been said that some people believe that the reason 'God' is viewed as a powerful bearded man in the sky is because when you were an infant, that was exactly what your father looked like. Whether or not this is true, children definitely hold their parents in awe and try to emulate their behavior. That is why when you make a mistake, it is imperative that you apologize.
This way children learn that there is nothing wrong in apologizing when you have done something wrong. They also see that there is value in being humble. If these are values that you share, then be sure to reinforce them in your children by not being afraid to APOLOGIZE.
2. Teach Them to Respect Their Elders
If this is one of your values, then we wholeheartedly approve it. Sometimes it seems that this particular practice is slowly fading out but you can certainly do something about that. Teach them to respect you and their grandparents first. Tell them that older people deserve respect because they have lived full, rich lives and learned many things. Things which, if the child is lucky, they might teach to them.
Instructing them to help the elderly in lifting things or crossing the street also teaches them empathy and kindness and with a little luck, they will carry these lessons into adulthood.
3. Share Personal Experiences
Tell your children stories about your life, especially the ones where you faced a dilemma that was a challenge to your personal values. Tell them how you solved the problem without compromising your beliefs, so that they can learn from your example. Tell them that the time will come when they too may have to make difficult decisions to uphold their own values. Ask them to keep the story in their hearts to inspire them to do what's right for them.
This is also good with stories your own father or mother told you or stories that they were told. In this way, family stories as well as family values, can be kept and passed down through the generations.
4. Make Them Accountable for Their Actions
This is an important value that many appreciate and wish to teach. Children need to learn that their choices have an impact and sometimes that impact comes with punishment. This is the way of the world. If they have done something wrong and are grounded for a week, don't let your resolve weaken.
As much as it breaks your heart to see them sad and bored and as much as you want to be the 'fun parent', you have to draw the line. Children who believe they can talk themselves out of trouble or that improper behavior has no consequences, may grow up to be maladjusted at best or criminal at worst, so don't neglect this one.
5. Don't Let Them Eschew Commitments They've Agreed to
This is another personal value that many hold to. If your child begs you for piano lessons and then wants to quit after a week, DON'T LET THEM. We're not saying that you should make them go for the rest of their lives, but make them keep with it for at least a few months so that they learn to make smarter choices and to stick with them.
This teaches tenacity and also can show them that with time they can indeed become good at just about anything if they set their mind to it.
Use these tips and methods to help yourself in using personal values to raise your children. Nurture these values and who knows, someday they might be teaching them to children of their own!
