Stop being a Busy Body
If you ask the average Australian, they’ll tell you that work/life balance is deteriorating. And it turns out that we’re not alone. Last year a survey in the UK found the majority of Brits wanting to work less, and were willing to take a pay cut to do so.
The French, too, who were internationally applauded for introducing the 35-hour working week in the year 2000, are now, 15 years on, debating its merits because too few people are actually sticking to it.
We are too busy
We have a global problem: We’re too busy. And it’s showing up in our health system. Long work hours are associated with a greater risk of heart disease, stroke and diabetes. Lack of sleep too, has been linked to everything from obesity to premature mortality. What’s more, there seems to be some kind of morbid glorification of the state of ‘being busy’. If we cannot confide in our friends about how tired we are, how stressed, or how very busy, it seems we don’t have much else to say to each other, as if somewhere in all of this ‘busy-ness’, we have lost the ability to truly connect with each other.
Goals, dreams and intentions can very easily become lost in ‘being busy’. When you don’t stop to ‘think’, you can so easily get lost in what you are ‘doing’ and lose sight of what you set out to do and what you had intended to achieve. As a child you may have looked up at the sky and dreamt of being a pilot or making plans to travel the world. Losing your dreams to a state of ‘being busy’ is detrimental to your happy state of being.
Is Keeping Busy a Facade, Blanketing Loneliness?
Keeping busy is a wonderful way to thwart loneliness. Because it constantly covers up that ache inside, that emotional abyss that hurts like hell… But the truth of the matter is that whether we know five people or five hundred, whether we’re partnered or single, whether we’re surrounded by family or living alone… we are all individuals. And we are alone. As profound and important as our relationships are, and as much as they influence our lives, we are, at essence, alone. But alone does not have to mean lonely. Sometimes the loneliest places on Earth are those most filled with people.
Loneliness comes from disconnection. It is a fear-based emotion, entirely founded on the idea that being alone is not conducive for humans because we are social creatures and our pack/clan instincts mean we gravitate towards each other. And, of course, like most animals we have an innate desire to reproduce to keep our race alive and so we seek relationships.
And the truth is, being lonely is hard. And it’s exhausting too… Because it involves validation for all that we are from sources outside of ourselves, and while it’s flattering to hear someone say “good job”, “nice hair cut” or “pretty dress”, the confidence it inspires is fleeting. And if we come to rely upon it, our happiness will be subject to external sources.
Become more Self Sufficient
When we are able to love, accept and validate ourselves – fully acknowledging our journey with its struggles, mistakes, lessons, achievements and above all the energy and intent that made it all happen, we provide genuine validation for ourselves and we stop needing (or wanting) the approval of others. We become more self-sufficient and less lonely. Over time, loneliness diminishes completely as we build an intimate friendship with our own self. When we have the strength and ability to introspect, to reflect, nurture and provide the emotional sustenance we need, only then can we be truly content. We can then stop being busy.