Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

Sometimes we can be so critical of ourselves and hold ourselves to such high standards. Societal expectations also pile undue pressure onto us. The milestones relating to age, success, career, marriage and starting a family can weigh heavy. There is an early expectation, a naivety that it will be easy to make your way in the world and that you will always be totally sure of what you want. What follows, are a number of ways to ease the strain and pressure that both we and the fast paced modern world dictate

1. Don’t Be Scared of Failure or Trying Something New

fear of failure

New Perspective through Failure

Many people say that, if they could tell their younger selves one thing, then it would be the following: That they regret more, the things they didn’t do than those they did. The new and unknown is very scary, the bravery required to take a chance on something is a big step. Be it in our personal or working life. A fear of failure can hold us back from taking that leap of faith into something new.

Though understandable, it is also foolish as, we do not know until we try and relevant is, is that we are testing our capabilities. Failure can happen of course, learning from such things can be just as important. Perhaps it will indicated what we do not want or are not suited to. Realities of the “dream job” may not be what was expected or we could change and wish to branch into something new entirely.

2. Think Outside Self, Would You Treat or Expect as Much From Others As Yourself


Overcome Negative Thinking

This is a big one.  We are our own worst critics, this can serve us very well on our path to success. However, there is a trap that you can fall into whereby you are too hard on yourself. This can greatly impact self esteem as well as pile on unwarranted stress and pressure. Take time to think, would I be so hard on my friend/sibling/partner if, say I didn’t get the job I had an interview for?  Ease up on self at times, it will make you happier and therefore more successful.

3. Life Happens

life happens

Maintain Momentum in Life

Life events- ill health, accidents, redundancy, separation/divorce and family losses/illnesses- these can hit us at any time in our lives. Any one of these “life factors” is out of our control. Important is how one recovers, but don’t feel panicked when your life gets knocked off kilter due to the impact of a life event. We are all human after all.

4. There is no Straight Trajectory


Create your Own Path

Life ebbs and flows, like a river taking different courses. It can be exciting and overwhelming. That uncertainty of what lies ahead, for instance.  Highs and lows will be experienced, it is how we deal with them that is so important. Instability in the world of work and the insular nature of Western society due, in part to convenience and social media. The current generation is going to be able bodied and need to be working well into our sixties, highly likely beyond this (we are all living longer).

It is a vast time period, in which we are likely to have several careers. The world has changed, there is not such a lasting power with companies and the next era of the technological age could be responsible for changing the way we work entirely. Possibly via a total increase and it being a commonality to go freelance or self employed.  Even presently, never has this been so accessible.

5. Talk to Others, We Are Really Not So Different

talk to others

Maintain Healthy Relationships

The longer that you have lived for, the more people (of all ages) you talk to allows you to relate to their viewpoints and experiences. Some of the thoughts and worries we may believe to be unique to us are not. A-lot of us are after the same things in life. Even the most confident, sure of themselves and successful people are riddled with self doubt and/or have been unable to find happiness in their lives. The voice of experience is always worth listening to and that of inexperience. The latter can provide a less cynical viewpoint.

6. The Word Has Changed Regarding Work


Work with Integrity

There has been a global recession, the world's population has swelled and in many countries so many big companies which are big employers have collapsed or moved their premises to the other side of the world. The job market is very competitive, better access to education means that it is attainable for a high volume of people to get their education. 

In Scotland for instance, tuition fees do not need to be paid. People are working on, later in life and it all contributes to there being a lack of jobs, just not enough to go round. You can only be the best that you can be, remember as a young person- you may have the qualification but not the experience. 

7. Be Happy Being You

be happy

Steps to Being Happy

Being comfortable in one's own skin and with one's personality can be a very difficult step to reach. Teen years and twenties are fraught with emotion as we discover ourselves, what we like and what we don’t, what we want to be and quite importantly here not being what we think or what society thinks we should be. We are all unique and different, that should be embraced.