Separation after a long relationship can send us one of two ways: into despair and depression, which sends us into the arms of the first man who shows sympathy or weeping to friends until they grow tired of it and we become stronger, independent and whole. Which way you go depends on the strength of mind you have.
2. Being Alone is not easy when you’ve learned to Share Everything
Being alone is not easy when you’ve learned to share everything from the most trivial happenings to momentous crises, floods, break-ins, illness; losses of all kind. 'Why did she have to tell me the greenhouse collapsed?' moaned a friend after her widowed mother called.
It was the sharing; the fact of another person being aware of the incident which concerned the lonely widow. Learning not to rush to share those things with someone is, at times, hard. In time it becomes a way of life.
'Why didn't you call me?" demanded a friend, when I said I had fallen outside my home. It’s not a crisis anymore.
Being alone means many things: being at peace with yourself, at rest in your mind. It doesn't mean total freedom from worries: there will always be the bills, equipment breaking down, car needing attention… Let the worries slide to the place they belong, the back of the mind. Bills can be budgeted for; emergencies can be dealt with as they arrive.
Being alone means you dress how you want, eat when you want, not watch TV if you don't want to or watch what you choose and when you choose.
Being alone means time to meditate, to contemplate and become a whole person again. This is the most difficult part to describe, once you have achieved it, you'll know the state of mind.
The conviction that you are important, you are whole, you are YOU. Here is the total feminine woman, complete with her own sexuality and desires, which she fulfils in her own way.
It would be easy to list the advantages of finding a new 24/7 man. Right now he would not offset the feeling I have, the quietness of a peaceful mind. I know that now, this night, I am a complete woman. No one can take that away from me.
You can feel like this. Dare to be alone, to be strong enough to live without a man, to contemplate the darkest corners of your mind. Confront your fears, cry over them, sob, rant and rave about them and let them drop dead in your hand. Once confronted, they are forever gone; never to hurt you again. Dare to be at one with the universe and with yourself.
professional writer since the early 80s, 20 years as a full time editor, author of at least 12 novels and many, many short stories, editor of some 55 anthologies, one of which came second in the Preditors and Editors Poll 2014.