Are You Going to be Lonely Forever? Find out with These Steps
Loneliness is difficult and affects everyone at some point or the other in their lives. It is easy to believe sometimes that you will always be lonely. There are, however, some things to consider before you decide that the best course is to move into a cave somewhere and dedicate yourself to be a hermit or hermitess.
Remember, a proactive approach empowers you, while a reactive approach relies strictly on the rest of the world to push you into solving this problem. Now ask yourself:
1. Are You Enforcing Your Own Loneliness?
Are you isolating yourself and keeping away from social contact? Try to make some time weekly to get out of the house or to volunteer for less weekly overtime. You can't meet someone if you don't allow the opportunity to happen. That's a sure way to perpetuate loneliness. Try to go out once a week by yourself or with a friend.
Even a lunch break with a coworker can be a great opportunity to make a new friend or get to know someone special.
2. Do You Use People for the Fulfillment of a Mental Picture or Simply Love Them?
You can be lonely even when you are already with someone. So how is that possible? Take a hard look at yourself and your relationships and try to determine the reason that you are feeling lonely. Is it because, rather than love, you are keeping someone close because you feel that is required to be 'normal' or because you have a set goal in mind that they might not necessarily share? If so, this will continue until you correct the situation.
Love for love's sake, not for a mental picture you've painted of your future. People can't be forced into the molds that we make for them and you could be setting yourself up for disaster.
3. Do You Live in the Now or the Future?
This is important. If you are experiencing social anxiety when you get out of the house, try to determine if it is because you are looking too far in the future. Live each moment as it comes. Relax. Maybe you really want to spend time with this new friend or potential mate but before those great moments you are visualizing can come to pass, you've got to get to know each other first.
Don't let the weight that you have attached to your potential future to make you too nervous to speak or you may be alone for a long time indeed.
4. Do You Appreciate the Things that You do have?
Have you taken inventory of your life? Maybe you have a great job and your budgetary skills mean you're building a sizeable nest-egg for your future. What qualities of yours are you neglecting to give proper credit to this? Appreciate who you are and what you have. This will result in a stronger sense of self-confidence which many will find attractive.
So what if you are a little lacking in the skills department.. does that mean you will always be lonely?
5. Are You Trying to Improve and Love Yourself?
Self-development is important for a number of reasons. It builds confidence. It creates more choices in life for you, as improved work and social skills can increase your finance and open many doors that you didn't have before. If you feel confident and like who you are then it will show in everything you do. After all, as they say, how can you truly love someone if you don't love yourself?
Be proactive! Even something simple like weekly exercise can improve your body while giving you more energy and confidence. Do you want to be lonely forever?
These questions and steps can help you determine how long you are going to be lonely. Is it forever? Probably not. Especially if you get to work! So use this information to your advantage and start increasing your chances of meeting that special someone or increasing your social circle to the levels you desire. Don't you owe it to yourself?