6 Handy Tips for Anger Management With Spouse
If you are short-tempered, your spouse may have a difficult time getting along with you. If both of you are short-tempered, the consequences are miserable. Men and women are different from each other not only physically but also emotionally. John Gray notes in his best seller, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, the emotional needs of a husband and wife are different but most often it is overlooked causing distress between spouses.
If you get angry for some reason with your spouse, there is nothing unusual about it, but if it happens too often in relationships, it can cause disharmony and lead to loss of happiness. The key to sustaining happy relationships is through proper anger management, not suppressing it.
Here are 6 tips for couples to deal with anger
1. When Faced with Stress, Women want to be Heard, Men want to be Left Alone
After a stress-filled day, your wife may complain about many things, overwork, non-co-operative or gossipy colleagues, unruly cab drivers, or bad health. She doesn’t expect any solution from you but only wants to be heard. If you tell her to keep quiet, she’ll be angry. You would like to watch TV, read a newspaper or withdraw into your room and listen to music to beat stress. She may think you are hiding something and you get angry.
2. Don’t Respond to Angry Outbursts
If your spouse comes home after work and gets angry for a misplaced newspaper, lack of cleanliness in bedroom or dining room or refuses to have the regular cup of coffee- remain calm. If you respond, it will be like pouring oil on fire. After your spouse settles down, request him or her to take a bath, feel fresh and allow to relax.
3. Find out the Reasons for the Anger
If your spouse gets angry too often, you must find time to sit together and discuss the underlying causes. It could be tough times at work, a bad experience, loss of money through investment, or lower performance of kids at school. It could also be the messy room of your children or the disturbance caused by neighbours.
4. Have Meals and Outings Together with Children
If you find time to be with your spouse and children for at least one meal a day, it can provide a relaxing environment at home. That could be the occasion for the family to unwind what all happened during the day and each can contribute to help solve the problems or issues you are facing.
5. Take Important Decisions Together
If you and your spouse take important financial decisions regarding buying of clothes, appliances, modifying the house or buying a new automobile together, there will be fewer reasons to quarrel. Both of you can also take decisions together regarding children- their health, education and entertainment.
6. Both of You can Try Relaxation Techniques
Yoga, meditation and deep breathing exercises are found to be effective in relieving stress and negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, loneliness and several other mental traumas you may have to undergo daily. It can also help prevent your anger going out of control, and cause physical damage to materials in the house or spouse.
When you get angry, it is not against your spouse or any other individual. It is an expression of your displeasure, dislike, irritation, unhappiness over an incident, behavior or seeing something improper. Try to understand what causes anger in your spouse, it could be related to your cleanliness, alcoholism, lack of punctuality or something else. Try to avoid them.
