Breaking the Worst Possible Outcomes to Stand Tall
A discovery from most great achievers shows that their least productive times in life were the ones in which they were uncertain and apprehensive of themselves. Looks may be deceptive that’s why it is absolutely impractical trying to predict or weigh people by it. Judging by physical appearance, most people around us appear quite self-assured, coordinated, artless, collected, refined or self-controlled.
Honestly, that’s really expected but the actual situation is quite disappointing, paralleling the realities of fear razing most people internally. How you may ask? I have come to discover that every man has got what I call the ‘inside-fear’. And just like someone observed, ‘in every man there is a frightened child not minding his appearance’. This fear is capable of fashioning one positively or negatively depending on one’s choice.
One of the negatives is lack of confidence. Most people are not self-confident. Some people can’t even speak up in front of others, while other people are totally locked up within themselves, and large number of others are not bold enough to interact for fear of what others may think or say of them. Why? Because they are so unsure of themselves. But to be sure of yourself on a definite matter is to be confident. Self-confidence is a champ’s charm and makes the difference between success people.
Every person regardless of race, tribe, color and language needs at least a jot of self-confidence to be a success story. Every task requires confidence to effect and the greater the confidence the stronger the impact. Self-confidence is that inner believe a person has in his or her abilities to perform optimally. Sometimes self confidence may appreciate one’s shortfalls to surmount obstacles.
Some other times conviction may count. Self-confidence has a matching - self-esteem of either low or high. But whatever the outcome, it is based on choices. While self-confidence is the belief you have in yourself to deliver or carryout a given function successfully, self-esteem is the process about which you see yourself and build the capacity needed for success. It is the measure of one’s belief in one’s ability.
Self-confidence is the tool to breaking the worst possible outcome to stand tall. Self-confidence is habitually80% internally developed while the remaining 20% is on external assessment, based on people’s evaluation of our capacity to do a particular thing better than others. It is possible for a person to have the ability to perform but may not have the opportunity because they haven’t been assessed or discovered by others. While others may be good they may lack the experience.
Experience is essential in developing self-confidence because‘ It is only the broken that are masters at mending’. The experience one adds concocts him fit and very confident. Building a tough self-confidence isn’t a folk’s tales under cabins or a thing of luck.
Luck may fall from the sky but not self-confidence. You work your way up to it. I won’t forget my earlier experience when I was 12, I was often asked to take a bible reading at the church service. I had refused and gave up reasons why I couldn’t but my pastor wouldn’t mind. So one Sunday I was informed right on procession that I was going to take the lessons since the person slated wasn’t present.
I felt like disappearing but there was nothing I could do. While at service my body heated up and my mind wandered at what happens if I didn’t do well. I was lost in thought of what people may think of me. “See he can’t even read very well”, or “may be my voice appeared odd” or “he wasn’t properly dressed today”. I had a lot to think. But as soon as I took the book rest, shuddering at first I began, but gradually I went on, I became more focused.
I only remembered observing the last full stop of the verse. There were several compliments after service, “Oh! Chuks you read so well”, “Wow! I never knew you were good at words” another fellow added. My parents were very proud of me indeed. I know you may have shared a similar or even worst experience like myself.
You could remember how you felt the first time you were asked to speak to an audience, how you faded, shivered and panicked but as you continued, you improved. Some people have self-confidence, but it’s not good enough.
I have seen people sing so well at school but as they switch to another audience they became flops at the scene. From my investigation I have discovered that as people change from one target audience to another, there is a tendency for their self-confidence to contrast for the fear, curiosity or anxiety of meeting the new audience. To fetch stability from audience to audience, one’s self-confidence needs to be well developed. There are seven ways to develop your self-confidence. They include;
1. Accept yourself for who you are
It is overwhelming that you are who you are now, so accept it. In order to build self-confidence you need to accept yourself – your weaknesses and strengths. It is in accepting one’s self that decision for a better change is synthesized. To move from where you are now to where you need to be, you need to repeal your thought system to who you want to be.
And that only begins by accepting that who you are now is the worst you will ever be.
2. Give yourself a reason to be less than perfect
It is life to make mistakes. And it is the mistakes we make that makes us good at life if we learn from them. A good way to build your confidence is to learn from your past. Next time you get it all wrong, don’t be too hard on yourself. If you keep feeling bad about yourself that is really negative and causes countless damages to you.
Don’t forget that the way you feel affects your thoughts and behavior. So when you feel bad, you will only remember the bad times, and will tend to be unenthusiastic about yourself and life. And if this happens you definitely have lost confidence.
3. Speak to yourself with Respect
Often, we speak to ourselves with offence. We use abusive words all the time. Words like ‘I am really a fool, I am stupid. I am a dummy and the list is endless. These words are negative. The best way to grace you is to say positive things to yourself. There is power in confession and whatever you say to yourself sticks. You must know that your voice doesn’t distinguish the difference between your voice and that of others.
It will definitely obey instructions irrespective of who gives them. We build confidence when we give ourselves verbal rewards. It pays to say “well done to yourself”, or something like “I have put in my best resources for the best outcome”.
4. Avoid hasty Ventures
Don’t always feel in a hurry about life and events. Every time you are in a hurry you end up feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence. I have always known that when you address your own needs, miracles happen.
Always prepare yourself ahead of every task and on time. Find out about your presentations and get them ready if you are going to make a report in a meeting. Get your dresses and victuals ready and always be punctual. Preparing earlier helps you think positive and to get relaxed.
However, being able to relax yourself before any venture is a fantastic life skill and lifestyle as well. When you are properly relaxed, your brain is less emotional and your memory for good events works better. A great formula for agents of success story.
5. Magnify your Strength
You will agree with me that everything you have done in life is for the best intentions. You have done your best and deserves to be commended despite your results. Don’t feel spirit-low if the results aren’t what you wanted, but for the moment approve yourself of past accomplishments.
Can you think back to when you did something successfully? Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness and lack of self-assurance, and that’s normal with life. But the next time you feel under-confident, remembering that there is always a first time keeps you on check and bold.
Remembering something you are good at like dancing, singing, painting or writing gives you an inner strength to succeed. It helps hold your attention and focus to get you into that state of action whenever you are confronted with fresh situations that may swallow your confidence. Magnifying your strengths is a great antidote to lack of confidence.
6. Strike a Balance
Your attitude towards everything in life matters a lot. People determine if we are confident or not by our appearance and reactions. Each time we appear publicly, placing our focus on what the worst possible outcome could be can cause us preventable anxiety, and paralyze us from acting. We must learn to strike a balance on the limitless outcomes.
They could be positive or negative. But if we stay more positive in the balance we always emerge successful because when we focus on the results we want and they are likely to happen. We must use our energy to admit that there are endless number of outcomes and be neutral because what you focus on expands. Each time I come in contact with an audience it is my practice to smile, keep eye contact and mind my body language.
Smiling will not only make me feel better, but will make others feel more connected to me. Most people look down when they are in a conversation but keeping a good eye contact fuels confidence. Your body language is as important as what you have to say. Just the simple act of lugging your shoulders back gives others the impress that you are a confident person.
7. Get a Coach
Coaches and teachers are people whose lifestyle will guide ours directly or indirectly. This involves a level of self-awareness and presence. Coaches will advise and counsel us to be confident of ourselves as we go about our business.
I remember earlier in life, as I took dance classes throughout my childhood, I frequently heard the teacher announce, “Speak out”, “Heads up, stand tall and straight up!". Walk and move with purpose. It makes a great deal of difference rather than walking sagged with our heads down, which makes us feel low and sends out a negative impression to people about us. You can build confidence when you have a teacher like mine.
Finally, everyone needs self-confidence to thrive in any endeavor of life be it career, family, work, ministry, etc. The greater your confidence the better your competence, the better your competence the most successful you may become, the more successful you are the preferred you become, the preferred you become –the more accomplished and rich you are.Hence, you can become anything your heart falls on.