Forgiveness and Its Healing Power
People say “Forgive and Forget”. But how hard it is to follow in real life, only the person in that particular situation knows. If you have been ever wronged, you know what I am talking about. You never want to talk to them or see them in your entire life. You even wish ill for them if the grievance is strong. Revenge may also creep into your life mission. While it is good to express your feelings and you have the right to it, the constant dwelling on the past and on your hurts may do nothing to the person/ persons who have wronged you. Instead, it just aggravates your negative feeling and your overall well-being.
At times you might find it even harder to forgive than usual when it comes to certain people who are unworthy of your forgiveness. But it is important to remember that no one is inherently a bad person- even if they are psycho rapists and murderers. In those times, you need to let the legal system take action but in order to move ahead and lead a happy life, you need to forgive. Circumstances lead to someone being bad and the atrocities they commit may be nothing more than a cry for help. Believe in the good in this world and try to put yourself in their shoes- it might become easier for you to forgive.
How Does Dwelling on the Past Hurts Affect You?
Don’t get me wrong. It is definitely not advisable to suppress your feelings. What is good for you, however, is to channel those feelings constructively. Holding on to your grievances for a long time ensures that you are always trapped in your pain and cannot move past that and lead your life to its full potential. Deep within, it feels like being the victim becomes an essential part of your existence and it becomes hard for the victim in you to let go of your sob story. The trick to getting over such situations is to fully accept your situation, mourn it, forgive and let it go. Bottling up your emotions can increase chances of anxiety and depression, which will inevitably lead to high blood pressure and heart disorders.
Without forgiveness, the pain can creep up on you when you are least expecting it. Even if you are trying to move ahead, it will keep you getting back to square one and suffocate you emotionally so much so that you are rendered incapable of functioning optimally. Being full of remorse, anger and sorrow continuously would take a toll on your health as well as your inner peace. Dwelling on your situation, you tend to isolate yourself from your loved ones who are capable of pulling yourself out of this bottomless pit.
Prepare Yourself to Forgive
As told before, you need to fully accept and then mourn your situation. Cry your eyes off if required. Move – walk, exercise- let the emotions flow. Get it out of your system. Only when you have completely released your pent up resentment, can you move on to the next step?
How Forgiveness Helps?
Once you have let go of your pain, you can move on to looking at the positive aspects of your life and hang out with people who affect you positively. It is said that time can heal all wounds. That is because, with time, it becomes easier for us to forgive and forget. Forgiving sets us free from all the negativities that had been festering inside us and eroding us from within.
“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” - Dave Willis