5 Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem for a Healthy Relationship
It is a known fact that a healthy relationship boosts a person’s mental and physical well-being. A healthy relationship makes a person more positive, confident and vibrant and adds tremendously to his sense of fulfillment. Generally, people believe that others see them as they see themselves.
Albeit, if you love yourself and are comfortable in your own skin, you tend to believe that others also like you or will start to like you once they get to know you. Your outlook towards people and relationships, in general, is positive because you hold a positive self-image.
However, a negative self-image, usually an outcome of a low self-esteem or self-regard, can have adverse effects on you and to a great degree, your partner. It not only has a negative impact on your relationship satisfaction quotient, it can have adverse effects on both you and your partner due to the insecurities and lack of trust or understanding that can stem from a low self–esteem. When you suffer from a low self-esteem, you generally tend to see your relationship in extremes.
Either all good or all bad. This means, on good days, you tend to be that perfect, understanding partner and consider your partner as the perfect match for you. However, on days when you are low or feeling the blues, your only focus will be only the imperfections of your relationship and your partner. A low self-esteem makes you needy and clingy. You need constant reassurance and you depend on your partner to feel a greater self-worth.
You live under this constant air of insecurity and rejection, fearing that your partner might leave you for someone more good looking, more confident and intellectual. A low self-esteem takes quality away from a relationship and in most cases, makes it less stable, which means your chances of losing that relationship increase.
Unless you feel good about yourself, you will never truly believe that someone else can love you. Having said that, conscious efforts, a lot of mindfulness and with the support of family, friends and even your partner, you can boost your self-esteem and have a healthy relationship. Here’s how you can do it :
1. Accept and Take Care of Yourself
Unless you don’t accept yourself, you will never truly be able to give anyone a chance to have a healthy relationship. For starters, try spending more time with yourself. Read books that interest you, even some self-help ones, exercise and look good, meditate, take up an evening class on a subject you have always wanted to study or even a hobby. Do all those things that make you feel better about yourself minus your partner.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the major blows caused to a relationship is when you start comparing yourself to others.. There will be someone better-looking or funnier or more charming than you. But hey, guess what. Your partner chose you! And that is because there are qualities about you which he/she finds endearing. So, appreciate and respect that and don’t get sucked into the comparison loop.
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses if you want. But you don’t have to be obsessed with them. Give yourself some credit :)
3. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
When you have recognized an area that you need to work on, it is important that you gather support from your family and friends. Talk about your self-esteem issues to them and let them know you are on a self-development journey. Their understanding and support will give you the motivation to carry on.
You can even tell your partner why you feel certain things, what is the thought behind a negative feeling and ask him to help you deal with those insecurities and negative thoughts and feelings. But that does not mean if, at certain times, he is unable to; you fall back into the negative loop.
4. Don’t Strive to be Perfect
When you suffer from a low self-esteem, you are more likely to be obsessed with being perfect, in order to win the attention and love of your partner. But no matter how much you try, there will always be something more to do or add in order to be perfect. Because no one is perfect. Learn to forgive yourself when you make a mistake.
Learn from it and move forward! Stop constantly criticizing yourself and telling yourself ‘you are good-for-nothing’ if you make a mistake. Stop trying so hard to be perfect and just be yourself.
5. Don’t Mix Success and Self-worth
Sure, you have decided to deal with your self-esteem issues and taken your first step on this journey. But hey, guess what, it will take time and there will be times when you will not be successful in your efforts. There will be times when you will just not be able to function with mindfulness and make conscious efforts. But that’s all right. Celebrate efforts and not “success”. By doing so, you will not beat yourself up when you are unable to maintain your resolve.
Its not often that we find that close-to-perfect match (close-to-perfect because no one is perfect). A loyal and understanding friend and a loyal and understanding partner are not easy to find. So when you do find them, keep them forever.
