The Keys to Confidence
Losing your confidence is neither a unique nor—have faith—an irreversible condition. Everyone has moments when they feel less than capable, less than stellar, less than beautiful, less than…well, just about everyone around them!
Feeling ‘less than’ can result from something as simple as a bad night’s sleep. There is nothing worse for your physical confidence than the morning after phenomenon of exploded hair, under-eye bags swelling like stuffedsuitcases, orthose Grand Canyon-sized creaseswhere your facehugged your pillow in a futile grasp for dreamland.
But this is a temporary phenomenon that can be overcome by a hot shower, a cup of coffee—or tea, if that is your preference—and a filling breakfast. Also, an avoidance of the morning news, which wallops you with the latest political waffles, natural disasters, and horrific war stories, is in order.The world can pull you down if you allow it. Concentrate on yourself, at least for the moments in which you are striving to be ‘more than.’
The most serious and persistent ‘less than’ conditions that affect your confidence derive from the three ‘Cs’: your inherent need to Compete, to Compare, and to Compromise. There are ways to conquer thosedefeating circumstances.
Competition is Healthy!
It’s a natural means by which we forge ahead, set goals, and prove ourselves. The problem with competition is someone wins and someone loses. If you lose too much, too often, confidence can be chipped away like a hand chisel and hammer working on stone.
The key is to accept losing and keep going. NO one wins forever, or loses forever. Quit competing, stick to what you do well and don’t worry about what the other guy or gal is doing. Only what you do is important. The best win situation is to feel better about yourself.
Comparison is not so Healthy
Comparison is not so healthy,but it, too, is natural to our human nature. We begin comparing what others have that we don’t have almost before we can walk!
As we grow older, the comparison extends tohow we look (does she have a better figure, is he better looking?), our skills and talents (her paintings are more beautiful than mine, he’s a better athlete), our jobs (she got the raise, he has a bigger office), and even our marriages and families (she has the perfect husband, his children are more popular than mine). Comparison can lead to jealousy, envy, and a loss of confidence.
The key is to look only to your own accomplishments. Focus on what you have, what you’ve achieved, and what you hope to succeed at in the future. It’s about YOU, not her, not him. Be proud of what you have, who you are, and how hard you worked to reach this point. Never let someone else’s star shine any brighter than your own.
Compromise Isn’t Always Bad.
Sometimes it is the only way to make things work. You live in a society and the right to swing your arm ends at the tip of the next person’s nose. Therefore, neither you nor anyone else can have it all their way.
However, don’t compromise on your dreams or your goals. Knowing that another person views you as incapable can be devastating to your confidence.
The key is to never let someone else’s opinion dampen your self-assurance. Don’t compromise your confidence for fear of how others see you. How you see yourself is the most important opinion to be considered.
Additional keys to Rebuild your Confidence
- Take a firm look at who you areand learn to like what you see. Embrace yourself, even the flaws and little peccadillos, because all of it makes you unique. You are an individual and special because of it.
- Surround yourself with people who build your confidence, not those who tear it down.
- Take compliments with grace, absorb them!
- Do bold things that excite you and make you feel better about the world and your place within the scheme of life.
Think good thoughts about yourself, where you are, where you’re going – and be confident that you are worthy of kindness to yourself. That is the Master Key.
