Feeling Lonely? It's Better Than Feeling Crowded
“(Called to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me)
Told you everything loud and clear
(But nobody’s listening)” - Linkin Park
Ever been in a party or a crowded bar where you know most people but in the middle of the room, you feel like the loneliest person on earth? Sometimes loneliness can feel like the end of the world but it might be a boon at times. How? you ask.
Let us scrutinise both sides of the coin first.
Disadvantages of Feeling Lonely
Feeling lonely is what most humans are scared of. The reason we surround ourselves with friends and build a family is to share our life with someone. Loneliness can bring a plethora of complications in one’s life.
- People feeling lonely tend to stress more than other social people in similar situations.
- The feeling of stress is caused by stress hormones that also cause higher blood pressure and can cause several heart-related diseases.
- The risk of suicide increases in lonely people.
- You might not be a great conversationalist and being in a crowd, you can feel embarrassed and left out.
- In order to distract yourself, you might be wasting your time and energy to make yourself feel whole. The whole process only ends up in making you feeling more lonely and distressed.
- The social interaction you do have, may not be very positive and thus there are very few people around you to help cushion the blow that life gives you.
- Loneliness also causes loss of sleep which in turn causes lower energy levels. Instead of getting the adequate amount of sleep, lonely people tend to sulk over negative thoughts.
- Being a loner might turn you into a recluse as you gradually distance yourself from group activities and social events.
- Without the interest to socialize with people, you might find it difficult to function optimally in your professional life.
While surrounding yourself with your loved ones and well-wishers and hanging out with friends do wonders to boost your confidence and overall happy mood, there might be times when you feel lost in the sea of faces. There’s so much noise around you that you can’t seem to hear your own thoughts. You have let everyone in and shared your life but soon you find yourself sitting in the passenger seat in the journey of your life. You tend to spend so much of your time and energy for the people in your life, you get derailed from what is really important: your life, your dreams and hopes, your interests and aspirations.
In any sort of relationship, it is important to set your boundaries. Invasion of space is the core cause of most downfalls of relationships. You need to remember that boundaries are not rejections. It is just a way to remind you and others who is in charge and that it's OK to take time out for only yourself. Get ample amount of these “me” times to follow your dreams and work on your interests. It helps you clear your thoughts and keeps you satisfied so that you are more giving in your relationships. Stifling and smothering relationships can end in only two ways: it would either break you or the relationship.
Looking at it objectively, it might seem to be a great idea to be a loner. But as mentioned above, there are disadvantages to that as well. So the trick is to maintain a balance between your two selves. Give equal amounts of time to socialise with others as well as to connect with yourself and you will find yourself leading a happy, satisfying life.
“Look at the sky. We are not alone. The whole universe is friendly to us and conspires only to give the best to those who dream and work.” - A. P. J. Abdul Kalam