Nuggets to Personality Development

Growing up in the tropics has thought me a lot of things than necessary. I was visible to taking responsibilities. My parents have constantly taught me and my siblings to accept full responsibility of whatever life offers, whether we are the cause or not. Don’t cast blames Dad will always say to Gold his first daughter? I remember an incidence in my grade 3; I lied to my coach about missing classes at school. Dad was greatly vexed with me for not upholding the family values.

Dad has in different occasions entreated us to be truthful and direct with events and their effect. Let people know you for speaking the truth and you will succeed, he usually preached. So, from childhood Dad and Mom’s teachings have been a guiding element in which we built our values. However, I grew up having my values as, taking responsibility of life, being honest, accountable, and putting family first. Family made me to believe that these values were vital to my happiness and success in life.

Fortunately, I discovered as I grew older that family has taken a deep part of me. Family is thus a value for me, a personal one indeed. Most people like me were trained that way. Their personal values were also fashioned according to that of family. My studies have revealed that about 67% of the world’s people form their basic values through family influence. 20% of the remaining may have leant or formed theirs from friends or colleagues, while the remainder life best teacher – experience has thought them.

values can be positive or negative

Regardless of where you developed yours, values can be positive or negative. Some people stay positive and create positive results that change the world while others develop a negative value which leads to violence, crime and several other ills we see in the society. Usually, values may be personal or organizational and often represent beliefs, behaviors, ethics, morals, culture or peculiar origin.

It’s important to note that some people also christen value as principle, philosophy, culture, laws or ideals. This individualism in thoughts is value. People’s leanings to act, behave, think, appreciate, love, etc. are based on their value system. People also misconstrue self-worth to personal value, while self-worth is the value one assigns to one’s self or one’s abilities at personal valuation.

Personal value centers on the collection of one’s importance to something or the quality of something (good or bad) that makes it desirable in life. It is my goal to share with you five nuggets to identify and clarify your values. Values are really no concrete matters as we make of it. It is not a set of rules to confine us to discipline.

Every value can never be important to you. That is why many people get confused as soon as you ask them about their values. It is not really about your concerns, hobbies, or patterns. They are simply minors which we find appealing, desirous and that may guide us to success story or not. Values are really not definite but vicissitude with time. But building values needs a more conscious effort than the sub-conscious elements employed. These nuggets are infinite to identifying and prioritizing our values.

# Nugget 1: Identify Your Disposition

Identity is important because our uniqueness vary from person to person. What is fashionable to Paul may not match Peter. Identity compels the very nature of your purpose and the character to fulfillment. Our disposition assures our identity and personality. But personality changes because we are affected by not just other people but the environment too.

identify your disposition

There is something about your person that a photographer cannot capture behind the camera and one of such things is your personal value that makes your personality. Personal value is simply the degree of importance you give to something. Your value is one of the refiners of your character like gold in the furnace. So don’t be tempted to sink into just anything as value.

For instance, spirituality is an important value to many people. People may value their spirituality or other values like health, career, friends, happiness, family, money, adventure, music, soccer, and so on. But people’s values may change from one time to another to form their personality. Time plays a sensitive role in this formation. (Art of Positive Persistence)

For example, as a person grows from childhood to maturity, values may be definite or vary. Values adjust slightly over time, especially at the early stages of identifying them for the first time. With your purpose and choice of personality in view, value will go less and less and normally won't change much for the rest of your life.

# Nugget 2: List and Choose Your Values

Life is all about making choices. We have the ability to choose all that we want to have and all that we may want to happen to us. We have the ability to make choices on what we eat, wear or where we want to be. But one good is that of prioritizing our values.

list and choose your values

We are creatures of choice but the power of our choices lies in our intentions or purpose. So, how do you make a choice and why should you be careful about the choice of values? Choosing involves making good decisions and on time. You base your choices on what is important to you – that’s value, so as to have happiness and fulfillment. (Personal Values Towards Life)

Choosing and prioritizing your values is simple. Get a jotter and a pen and make a list of all the things your heart feels is important to you. Don’t make it to lengthy but the list can make a 10 or 20 items of value. This list could take some time, but give every item a thoughtful consideration. Don't be in a hurry or worry about being perfect at first. Take all the time you need. The table below gives an example of John’s choice.

S/N0

VALUE

0

Money

1

Adventurous

2

Optimistic

3

Family

4

Freedom

5

Fairness

6

Swimming

7

Integrity

8

Fashion

9

Soccer

# Nuggets 3: Prioritize Your Choices

Giving priority to one’s choice is based on its importance. The reason is simple, the way you value things in your life tells a great deal on your capacity to make safer, better and faster decisions. And it is also different from that of others, but it may surprise you that people often want other people’s values to be made and prioritized like theirs.

prioritize your choices

That’s absolutely impossible. You may value family reunion more than swimming. But, someone else could prioritize theirs to favor swimming more than family reunion. That someone's values aren't the same as yours doesn't make them good or bad people. Values are personal irrespective of what it is, it doesn’t make others indifferent. (Value of Patience)

Prioritizing your choice involves asking yourself which one of these out of the list of 10 is of more importance. The answer will definitely be your first value prioritized. Repeat the process for the nine values left you will get your list ready. You can make adjustments, especially in the beginning stages. Once you have your list prioritized, take out a fresh piece of paper and re-write your values in the new prioritized order just like John’s at the table below.

S/N0

#VALUE

0

Family

1

Integrity

2

Fashion

3

Optimistic

4

Money

5

Freedom

6.

Fairness

7

Swimming

8

Adventures

9

Soccer

# Nugget 4: Morality Test

If you have made your list with thoughtful considerations the next thing is to verify the morality factor. What if your list contains items that aren’t morally sound? What if they are contrary to family or organizational values? For instance, what happens if an organization values profit over customer satisfaction? What happens if someone values his mother over his wife? Or money over integrity? And what usually happens in a case where John values soccer more than a dinner with his spouse?

morality test

He may end up divorced but that doesn’t matter to him. Some may settle that having soccer over a dinner is a bad decision but that’s really not the case. Some people are disappointed because someone would value swimming over family reunion, but it is what it is. It is a free world, free will and of course free choice. (Personal Values of Self Made Millionaires)

I am not to judge on that, let God do that because your values are absolutely yours. Every choice we make has a consequence. We must do everything within our means to make choices that give us happiness and a better life.

# Nugget 5: Keep Values for Success Story

keep values for success story

Identifying your personal values isn’t a job another person would do for you, it's yours. Although it is not easy, but it's totally worth it. One of the basic determinant to your success story is your personal value. It’s quite tasking but you can bet me that it gives you a magnetic persona. (Build a Powerful Value Proposition)

Best personal values makes you best dad or mum to your child, it makes you a darling to your spouse and for sure a star in all you do. The process of identifying and prioritizing your values takes not just guts but a lot of it, but the reward is well-intentioned: freedom from trying to be someone you're not; secured career, and a guru to people around you. Take the challenge now and clarify your values as your gain will be limitless.

ByChukwu Ifeanyi

Chukwu Ifeanyi, is a writer, researcher, and peer-educator whose words about life are of practical experiences. He is the principal Consultant, Bow Consult, Lagos and Founder, HOT Initiative. Recipient of the 2013 Face of UNN Silent Achiever Awards.

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