How to Be Happy
What is Happiness?
We are so busy with different aspects of our life such as making money, managing relationships, solving problems, handling pressures, and doing so many other things, that it is very easy to neglect the fact you haven’t been happy for a very long time. It’s not that we forget happiness, because we do claim that most of the things we work towards have happiness as one of its end goals. For example, we want to be richer; have a bigger house, a higher position at work, etc. because we think all these things would lead us to happiness. So, clearly we have plans to be “happy” in the future. But we have certainly forgotten to be happy in the present.
We seldom realize that no amount of money is ever going to satisfy you, no house is big enough, and no position is the highest. Once we reach a goal, we would want to go further up. This is human nature and there is nothing wrong with it. You might ask, “The, what is the problem”? Well, the problem is not in having desires or ambitions. It arises when we begin to associate happiness with these external things. Sure, some of these things bring you happiness, but not for too long. You do not need to wait for huge achievements and accomplishments to be happy. Happiness is much more easily available to you than you think.
All you need is the desire and will to be happy. Happiness is an emotional state of well-being. It basically means how your mind responds to the things you see in your surroundings; hear from people, your experiences with other human beings, animals, or nature, and most importantly your feelings about yourself. We feel happiness when we win a lottery. It should be noted here that it is not the money that gives us happiness but our response to being rich is what brings us happiness. Happiness is in the mind. Hence, Leo Tolstoy rightly says, “If you want to be happy, be.”
When Can You Be Happy, According to Science
Science too, ascertains the fact that we just spoke about. Happiness can be controlled by us. It is possible to be happy based on certain experiences in life. Some tasks, activities, behaviors have been scientifically proven to promote the feeling of happiness. When you include these experiences and tasks in your day-to-day life, you will realize just how easy it is, to be happy. Take a look at the following science-backed list for happiness:
Spend time with the nature. Enjoying nature and its beauty could have wonderful effects on you and can calm your mind.
Work it out. Any form of physical activity such as exercise, yoga, and sex even, not only keeps you fit, but also makes you feel good about yourself.
Getting enough sleep will keep you fresh and charged up all day long, keeping you active throughout. You should at least sleep for 4 hours each day and preferably for 6 - 7 hours.
Eat healthy foods such as fruits, veggies, and proteins. Drink plenty of water to keep you hydrated.
Be good to yourself no matter what. Sometimes we tend to punish ourselves more than we deserve. Always remember that mistakes happen so you could learn from them. Once you’ve learned your lesson, it’s best to forget the mistake.
Meditate regularly. Science has enough evidences to show that meditation is one of the best stress busters in this world of chaos.
Listen to music. It is known that music has a great way of impacting our moods and feelings. Listen to the kind of music that your body and mind connects with, and you will feel happy instantly.
Groove to the beat. Dancing is one of the best forms of physical activities. It is also a very good stress buster and confidence booster.
Be grateful for everything. Being thankful for your life, family, friends, etc. shows how much you value the things you own and people whom you love. This also makes you realize how lucky you are.
Learn something new. They say you are never too old to learn. Learning or acquiring a new skill has tremendous power to make you happy. So, go for that dance class or the guitar class you’ve always to go.
Write down your feelings and thoughts. These could be happy or sad thoughts. Writing makes you feel better; just the way sharing does. You’ll feel lighter inside. Writing can also be one of the best ways of combating stress.
Take care of yourself. It is very important to realize that nobody in this world is accountable for your well-being, but you. Treat your body and mind with utmost care and respect.
Move on. At times you will have to confront harsh realities of life such as heartbreaks, betrayal, fear, etc. The best you can do in these situations is to forgive and move on. Do not fill your heart with bitterness, you deserve to feel better.
Be someone’s best friend. One of the best feelings in life is to be a part of someone’s happiness and sorrows. Friendship is one of the best relations in the world, and being a true friend to someone will increase your happiness exponentially.
Don’t be serious all the time. Life is not easy for anybody, but if we try to find a way to smile through everything life throws our way, finding joy can be much easier than we think.
Help others as much as you can. This will make you think highly of yourself. When your efforts make others happy, you feel proud too.
Spend time with your family, partner, and friends. No matter how many professional and business commitments you may have, never miss being around the people who love you. They matter to you more than your professional contacts and let them know that.
Spread happiness with little gestures such as complimenting someone, smiling at strangers, helping an old or differently-abled person cross the road, etc. These acts have equally positive effects on you as much as they have on its recipients.
Work. The kind of happiness you get from being satisfied with your work is unparalleled. Getting your work done is a definite way to find happiness.
Save money and spend wisely. Have enough money saved to meet all your needs for a few months. Keep a watch on your cash inflow and outflow, to secure yourself financially.
How to Be Happy
Happiness is an abstract thing and often not related to only one thing at a time. There are thousands of ways to experience happiness. If there is one thing to feel sad about, there are ten other ways to be happy too. You could ensure you are happy all the time by bringing about some changes in your outlook towards life. Here is how:
There are so many external factors that are linked to our emotions. We should understand that it is completely up to us to determine how we should feel about a certain incident. If we do not let sadness conquer our minds, we can own our happiness.
Prioritize Everything that Matters
Often we end up being too occupied with our own lives that our loved ones feel neglected. This is one of the primary reasons why there are so many failed marriages and broken families. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the famous writer, once said, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least”. This is exactly what we forget to realize. We keep people whom we love waiting while we reserve most of our time for people who do not matter at all. Think about it.
Look at the Positives
It is very easy to feel dejected about something that has not gone your way. You are bound to be disappointed. Being disappointed for a while is fine, but do not sulk or think about it for too long. Every mistake you make is an opportunity to learn and grow. Every failure makes you better. Always try to look at the positives in any situation. Think of all the problems you have in life and then reflect on the things you learned from them. You will soon realize that your life would’ve been quite boring without some of these problems and challenges.
Have Loads of Gratitude
This is closely related to the above point. Be grateful for all the good things in life and learn to appreciate the little ones, as well. When someone surprises you with a chocolate or something even as simple as a call from an old friend, all this goes a long way to keeping you upbeat throughout the day. Before going to bed each day, think about every single good thing that happened to you that day and be thankful for them all.
Be Compassionate to Yourself
You deserve to be treated well; you deserve to have the best life possible. Do not be harsh on yourself. Various studies have confirmed that self-talk has a major influence on how you feel. Positive self-talk boosts your energy, and helps you overcome fear, nervousness, etc., whereas negative self-talk only deteriorates your mood further. Talk to yourself the way you’d want others to talk to you. Love yourself more than anyone else. Take care of yourself first!
Be around People Who Love You the Most
Not everyone in this world is going to love you and you cannot please everybody. People who have never been supportive of you, who always put you down, never appreciate anything you do, do not deserve to stay in your life. They could be your friends, colleagues, or relatives even. Stay away from negative people. They don’t matter.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone Every Now and Then
This could be a little difficult which is also the reason why doing this gives you gratification. When you accomplish something despite your fear, you feel proud of yourself. Similarly, when you step out of your comfort zone and do something you never thought you would do, you belief in yourself increases. American author, Neale Donald Walsch says, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”.
If You Want to Be Happy, Stop Doing This…
Sometimes, being happy also means simply saying no to certain habits. Some of them may not seem detrimental at the onset but they affect your emotions and feelings drastically. Stop doing the following and see for yourself how you open a plethora of opportunities to be happy.
Stop worrying about the future or the past. Live in the moment. The future might be uncertain, unfamiliar, or scary. All you could do is plan and be prepared for it and let it reveal itself with time. Similarly, the past is gone and no matter how much you think about it, you cannot change it. Learn to live in the moment. Make the most of NOW.
Trying to Be A Perfectionist
We all want our work to be perfect, but you know what? There is no such thing as perfect. Even when you do your best, there would be others who could beat that. There is no definition or standard of perfection. Hence, stop aiming for it. Instead, focus on making something valuable; something that could be of use to someone and your job will be done.
What do you do when you want to get some work by someone? You tell them. And if they don’t do that work immediately, you keep telling them. This is highly annoying not just for that person, but even for you. You find yourself saying the same things time and again without any result. It could even lead to frustration and tension in your relationships. It would be far better to just give them a deadline when you assign them a task the first time. You talk about it again only if they haven’t met the deadline.
We know that happiness is related to achievements, and its opposite is true, as well. Lack of happiness is related to lack of achievements. By lack of achievements I mean, not working towards your goals or spending your time productively. When you waste an hour without any meaningful activity, it could lead to a sense of dissatisfaction.
Gossiping and Back-biting
As exciting and fun as this may sound to you, gossiping about people does not make you very happy. It is an unproductive activity and there are no positive outcomes associated with it. Later, you might subconsciously end up feeling like you’ve wasted your valuable time.
Overthinking and Overanalyzing
We find ourselves spending a lot of time thinking and analyzing things. While you are at it, you hardly ever realize when you often begin overthinking and overanalyzing. Once you have made up your mind, do not re-think your decision unless there is an obvious need to do so. Go with your gut instincts when you are confused. Similarly, do not analyze someone’s words or situations too much; you might trick your mind into believing something that simply doesn’t exist.
Setting Unrealistic Goals
This is one of the surest ways to be unhappy. Sometimes we are so ambitious that we forget to see the not-so-thin line between reality and illusion. We get carried away with confidence and end up setting unrealistic goals for ourselves. Most of us never meet such goals and if we ever did, it would be nothing short of a miracle. But why take chances.
Saying Yes to Everything
This is linked to the previous point. When you say “Yes” to everyone, sooner or later, you will have to start saying “No” to yourself. As mentioned before, it is practically impossible to please everyone. Commit yourself to doing the things that are important and valuable to you. If time and situation permits, you could always take on more tasks. Do not burden yourself unnecessarily with pressure that you could have easily avoided.
Nurturing Hatred and Resentment
Yes we live in this world, which is not perfect. People are bad and they can do bad things. Things that hurt and things that can’t be forgiven. However, by not forgiving people who have wronged us, we nurture negativity within us. Forgive them and move on. You do not have to carry the excess baggage.
Comparing Yourself with Others
Each one of us has a unique set of talents and skills, thought processes, analytical abilities, and so on. No two persons walking on this planet are similar by all means. How can we then compare one another? If you want to beat someone, beat yourself. Compete with yourself and try to get better than last time.
Can you be happy even when you’re sad?
Well, after having read the article this far, you would certainly know the answer to this question. Sadness and happiness are all in the mind. Situations, people, and experiences are never sad or happy. Our reaction to them is sad or happy. Hence, it is very much possible to be happy even when you feel otherwise. Here’s how you can do that…
Accepting the fact that problems are a part of life is good way to begin with. Once you know that, understand that every person in this world has problems. The best way to deal with difficult situations in the past is to forget them, but remember the lesson you learned through them.
Share your Sadness
This is the universal truth and something that we’re naturally inclined to do when we’re sad. Sharing your problems and sorrows with your family, friends, or even writing down your feelings on a piece of paper makes you feel lighter. You could also join communities that help people share their problems with other members. This will give you the strength to fight your battles and let you know that you are not going through it all alone.
Force a Smile
Although smiling is the last thing we want to do when we’re sad, when you try to force a smile you naturally feel happy. When you use the muscles that facilitate smile, it has a positive effect on you and it boosts happiness.
Cry Your Heart Out
What is the most natural thing to do when you feel sad? You cry. That’s how your body tries to calm you down when you are loaded with sorrowful feelings. Isn’t it beautiful how nature has its own way to take care of you? Crying is the best remedy to make you feel instantly better.
Visit your Friends
One of the ways to deal with sadness is to forget that you are sad. Who other than your friends could help you forget your sorrows? Hang out with your friends. Sooner than you know, you will forget all your troubles.
Do your Favorite Thing
Distract your mind with the things you like doing. Read your favorite book, eat the most comforting food, or spend some time watching your favorite or funniest TV show or a movie. Reading is often the best thing to do here as it transports you to another world.
Dance, Exercise, or Take a Walk
Dancing is a way of expression which you can effectively use to express your sadness. Additionally, any other physical activity such as exercise, jogging, or taking a walk can have enormous positivity on you. Indulging in sports or other outdoor activities such as trekking also diminishes your sorrows.
Habits of Happy People
We do not have any control over what happens to us, whom we meet, etc. But we can control our emotions and reactions to these external factors. Some people who have mastered this skill can be happy every moment of their lives. So, do these people behave and live differently from others? Read on to find out.
Make Each Moment Count
People who are always happy are always busy. In other words, people who are busy are more likely to be happy. Being busy implies you are either working, meeting people, relaxing with family and friends, or doing some meaningful activity.
Have a Few, But Wonderful Relationships
Happy people know how to build relationships and maintain them. They value all their relationships may it be with their partner, parents, siblings, friends, or relatives. They are willing to go the extra mile for people who they are close to and rarely do they take them for granted. People who are happy have very few but extraordinary relationships.
Find Happiness Within
Happiness is an intrinsic feeling, an emotion that origins within you. Why should you look for happiness elsewhere? Happy people realize that when you tie your happiness to external stimuli such as people, situations, presents, money, etc. you have to wait for these things to happen before you could be happy. You become dependent on these factors.
Move Your Body
It is found that people, who are generally happier than others, perform at least one type of physical activity every day. It could be exercise, yoga, dance, sports, cleaning their house, or any other activity that require them to move their body other than standing and sitting. Physical movements keep them active and charge them up.
Problems and Challenges are Essential Parts of Life
If you shy away from problems or difficult situations, they tend to intimidate you more. Instead, if you expect them to come every now and then, you are better prepared to face them. Also, when you are aware of the fact that problems can be just around the corner and can show up any time, you are less disappointed when they do come.
Make that Dream Come True
One of the most important contributors to happiness is satisfaction that stems from having completed a task. If this task is a part of your dream project, then the happiness simply doubles up. Nothing in the world can beat the happiness you get when you work towards your dreams, and finally realize it. Every second you spend on that dream of yours is going to be blissful.
No Hard Feelings
How can you be happy when you hate someone? How can you be happy when your heart is home to negative feelings? Well, you cannot. That’s exactly why it’s said, get rid of all the bitterness before you long to be happy, and rightly so. This is the mantra followed by happy people.
This is the most important quality of happy people. They treat themselves with great care, respect, and with loads of love. Loving is the feeling that is directly related to happiness. When you learn to love yourself, you want yourself to be happy.
Happiness is the feeling that makes you feel good, positive, confident, attractive, and lovable. We love people who are generally happy and also attracted to them. It’s not that happy people do not have problems, face difficult situations, or challenges. They go all of that, just like you and me. But, they know exactly how to not let these external factors define their state of mind. They are happy because they chose to be happy. You can, too!