8 Tips To Become Mentally Strong
What an amazing journey life is, and as part of the growth path there are many hopes, dreams, trials and tribulations along the way; it is all about the ‘human’ experience for us to grow (or shrink), sink or swim, it is entirely your choice and solely up to you.
In order to maximise our enjoyment of this beautiful place we have to be strong, not only physically, emotionally and spiritually because our world is facing many challenges, it is time to observe what is happening and give praise for the things and people you love and if you can lend a hand to others please do so, we all need to be there for one another.
There have been tragedies in my life and it always happened at the time when I could least afford any of it, but instead of curling up in a ball, I decided to take the bull by the horns (and I am glad I did) as it lead me to many discoveries, and the most important asset is knowing who I am and what I am capable of.
I am successful in beating cancer, and while having chemo I did not miss a day’s work, so these are not hollow words, these tips have worked for me and I am sure they will work for you too.
In order to help you, I condensed my experiences to 8 Tips to Develop Mental Toughness and these are:
1. Revise Your Inner Dialogue
‘We bring about what we think of (fear) most’
It is your life and you are in charge of it, you must revise your inner dialogue and see what sort of thoughts you are entertaining in your mind.Are you having thoughts of unpleasant events, people or circumstances? Are you expecting a negative outcome at a sales meeting with a client? Are you thinking about failing your exams? Are you afraid of losing your job?When one of these negative thoughts pop in, catch it and tell yourself:
‘No, this is not the way I want it to be’.
Release the thought and replace by one who brings you joy. Tell yourself you are powerful and you can manifest anything you want in your life, and you can.At the beginning this is going to be hard, and if you struggle, just pause, deep breath and ask yourself why you are having the negative thought, be loving to yourself and try to understand why you are sabotaging any attempts to become a better you, let the spark of divinity shine in you.
2. The Law of Expectancy (Attraction)
As stated earlier:
‘We bring about what we think of (fear) most’
It is your God given duty to direct this energy by focusing on what YOU want and do not accept anything less.
Expect only the best, you deserve it and if you feel like you don’t deserve it, ask yourself why? Put those childhood traumas to bed, let go of the time the girl you wanted turned you down, stop focusing on the time you were let go from a job you loved; that was yesterday, today you have a chance for greatness only if you chose to.
Some people have the ability to switch the way they think faster than others, and some of us take time and practice to get there, but do not feel alarmed, some of the greatest and longer lasting habits are forged by constant practice; our subconscious mind will be bombarded by these new found positive thoughts and will start acting accordingly and your luck will begin to change.
Even when your situation is dire (cancer anyone?), expect only the best outcome, do not expect anything less, everything has a solution and as long as you are breathing you still have another chance to fight on.
3. Take Pride and Joy Proving Other People Wrong
This is one of my favourites, I love it when people give me a 1000 and 1 reasons why I can’t do something or want to place restrictions on my abilities; this serves me as a fuel to show them who is in the wrong and so far it has not been me the one in the wrong.
I refuse to play in their ‘sandpit’ with their own antiquated beliefs and expectations, it is my life and I live it whichever way I want. Show these people or your circumstances who is boss, I often used to talk to my cancer and I used to tell it:
“You are not going to win, I have a wife and two sons to live for and as God is my witness I am going to beat you or die trying”
I used to go for my chemo on Friday afternoon, use the weekend to recover and back to work on the Monday morning and I kept working nonstop. This also gave me a purpose and a reason to get better, it helped me to take my mind off the cancer and I never felt sorry for myself, I had a job to do and I did it no matter how hard.
4. Trust your Instincts, Inner voice, and Intuition to Find Solutions
There is a reason why humans have brains, to use them. We are very lucky to live in the age of information, and great knowledge is available to you on the click of a button. Also by quieting the mind, your subconscious goes hard to work coming up with solutions to any given problem. Have you ever woken up at 0300 with an ‘a-ha’ moment?
In religious circles this is like a divine revelation, epiphany, etc. You can call it what you like, the point is, this is available to every men, woman and child on this planet so why not you?
Go for walks without a phone of headphones on and let nature speak to you, feel its vibrancy, believe me, a message is being conveyed to you only if you chose to listen.
5. Be Bold, Be Strong, Be Beautiful
Often when things seem lost is when breakthroughs are made, there is only one extra push needed to achieve our goals so we need to be bold and have no fear, trust in your inner guidance, you have a spark of divinity in you, never forget it or underestimate it.
Be strong, never surrender, never give up on what you want, show courage even in the face of defeat, the Universe will reward you for it, and these failed efforts are like ‘extra credits’ to help you pass on to the next level.
Be beautiful and gracious in both victory and defeat, grace and poise are becoming lost arts, and you owe it to yourself to develop such elegance and even your adversaries will appreciate it and respect you for it.
Others call it ‘dignity’, it is a wonderful feeling knowing that even when you lose holding your head high is one powerful gesture, only a true champion is graceful in defeat and a truer champion is even more graceful in victory.
6. Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining – the Power of Visualisation
So you are deep in despair, your head is foggy from so much worry and despair, you are hurting, you are lost, you are confused, all these are natural feelings when we are under extreme pressure, even then you have to remind yourself this is not going to last forever, the storm is not eternal and a ray of sunshine is bound to break through.
Every cloud has a silver lining, it is a very powerful allegory, it is a powerful image, one that has to be embraced by you, you have to understand when you are growing as an individual, challenges will test your resolve and as I had to navigate my way through a ‘dark night of the soul’ I never stopped thinking of better times.
During these desperate times is when you have to hold your visions close to your heart, the things you want, feel them, taste them, smell them, and see yourself with your family on holidays on a sandy shore. See yourself getting that promotion or job you way, see the income, see the business you want, never let go of the dream, it is your life, it is your call.
7. Diet and Exercise
I owe my punching bag so much, it has helped me channel the negative energy and transformed it into fitness, motivation and a release mechanism.I have a home gym set up, and I tell you, it is one of the best decisions we made in our lives, my wife and I work out at least 5 times a week and not only has our outlook on life improved but our belief in what we can achieve has increased to levels we never thought possible.
I also have Karate to thank, it has given me so much clarity and confidence in my ability to tackle everyday life and I still did Karate while going through chemo and that helped me a great deal also. We are also eating healthy; we have reduced coffee, eliminated high sugar content food/drinks and minimised take aways or take outs.
I have lost 13kgs and my wife 18kgs, not only are we travelling lighter, the endorphins seem to operate 24/7 as we now like what we see in the mirror and age is no barrier for us, both of us in our 40s but being physically strong is directly proportional to being mentally strong in our case.
8. Find Someone (mentor) Who has Faced a Similar Situation and Learn
This is very important, if you want to learn golf ask a golfer, not a shoemaker. If you want to learn design, ask a designer not a doctor, etc.
When I was in my mid 20s I was going through a very challenging time, depression, etc. but instead of curling up in a ball, I started seeking answers. Dr Wayne Dyer (RIP) was the very first motivation author I read, and the amount of knowledge and wisdom from him opened the floodgates.
As I grew in awareness, other teachers appeared, then I realized little synchronicities started to happen, little events here and there helping me beat the black dog to the point that not only did I beat it entirely but gained so much wisdom from it, it made me a much better person.
There are two kinds of persons: A Lemon person and An Orange person. Lemon persons are sour when squeezed or put under pressure. Orange persons are sweet and refreshing, the question is, what sort are you?
Are you a Lemon or an Orange person?
If you are a Lemon person do not despair, just add sugar and you will become a Lemonade person, sweet and refreshing and one who had to go through a process