The Perfectionist Prison
Perfectionism Is Not Your Friend
We all know at least one perfectionist. Maybe it’s a spouse, colleague, or roommate. Maybe it is We live in a society that values ongoing advancement and self improvement. These are worthy causes and most of us want to move forward and believe in making the most of who we are. A perfectionist, however, sets the standards for himself unrealistically high. On the surface, perfectionism appears to be a noble pursuit. But here is how being a perfectionist actually works.
1. Perfectionism Has A Paralyzing Effect
In that it keeps you from moving forward. Because the thought of failing is terrifying to a perfectionist, perfectionists play it safe and avoid taking risks, including the risk of succeeding. What perfectionists don’t realize is that part of success is falling and getting back up again, and that failures are lessons in disguise, often leading them in the pathway to success.
2. Perfectionists Keep other People At Arm’s Length
so that their imperfections are not exposed. Perfectionists rob themselves of intimate relationships because they fear they will be rejected for their imperfections.This leads to isolation which in turn can lead to depression. To perfectionists, acknowledging their need of others is exposing their vulnerability, which they interpret as weakness.
3. Perfectionism Affects Your Health
All the energy perfectionists spend in putting up walls to shield themselves from being known by others (and creating an image of perfection)eventually results in exhaustion, as facades can only be sustained for so long. The greater problem is that when perfectionists come crashing down, there is nobody there to help them get up because they have spent all their lives shutting people out.
4. Perfectionists Are Not True To Themselves
They live a lie. The perfectionist is afraid of being his genuine self because he feels rejection. He believes that if people know the real person behind the facade, flaws and all, they will not accept him for who he is. Perfectionists therefore live unauthentic lives, trading their authenticity for a facade of perfection .
5. Perfectionists Cheat Themselves And others
In refusing to take risks, perfectionists prevent themselves from growing personally and professionally. They live in a prison of their own making, hindering themselves from living their lives to their full potential. In addition, in refusing to take risks, perfectionists have little to offer others in terms of life lessons and advice. Their life experiences are limited because they choose to live.
6. Perfectionists Cannot Enjoy Life
Because they are too wrapped up in presenting a facade of perfection. We’ve all had that full time job we ended up walking away from or wish we could have because it consumed all of our energy and did not allow us to have a life outside of work. Being a perfectionist is that full time job. It is safe, familiar, but comes with a high price tag.
Breaking Free From Perfectionism
1. Change Your Mindset
Expect success but be prepared for failure. Convince yourself that failures are facts of life and stepping stones to success.
2. Start Small
Take one risk. Once a day or once a week.You decide how big or how small.The main thing is to allow yourself the freedom to start taking risks.
3. Keep A Journal
To express the emotional roller coasters you may experience as you start this new, uncharted phase of your life. Record your progress towards your personal goals, including setbacks, obstacles, and failures and what you learn from these experiences. If you keep a journal long enough, you can begin to see how these experiences and the lessons you learn from them lead you to success in the long run.
4. Surround Yourself With Positive People
Positive people are generally risk takers because they don’t allow their failures to hold them back or cloud their perspective.
5. Reward Yourself For Taking Each New Risk
Even though to others your risks may appear insignificant or inconsequential, remind yourself of what an achievement it is for you each time you take a risk. After all, you are the only one who has walked in your shoes.
6. Keep Moving Forward
If you keep taking risks, you will keep moving forward. It may not seem like you are making progress at times, or ever, but if you are taking risks, you are inevitably making progress because with every failure and success you experience, you are growing and getting closer to reaching your goals.At the end of your life, you are the only one responsible for the decisions you made, and this includes the risks you took along the way, which shaped you into the person you ultimately became. Live life, take risks, and die with no regrets